Tactile Junkies

At the moment of birth, we begin to define the difference between "I" and the outside world through our senses. We touch objects and put them in our mouths and decide between "me" and "not me." The concept of a self must be reestablished within every moment through constant interaction with thought or feeling. "I .. am feeling the ... ball (which is not a part of me)."

We smell, taste, touch, sense, and hear at every moment. As tactile junkies, we seek out greater interactions, which makes us feel even more alive by creating a greater illusion of self. We zoom at breakneck speed in roller-coasters, slam our ears with deafening sound at concerts, scream at the top of our lungs while sipping beer, getting dizzy, and dancing about to the beat of a song.

Our greatest interaction occurs when two people connect and begin to speak. There is almost like a momentary link-up, much like when two computers interface. You can sense a connection beyond normal sense, creating an interaction so much greater than common experience, there is no wonder that we are such social animals.

And so it becomes clear why fear is experienced during meditation. To stop interacting is almost like asking the heart to stop beating. It must beat for us to live. We must interact to maintain our sense of self, or feeling that "WE" are alive. It is very hard to believe an enlightened mind when he tells us that true happiness lies beyond this sense, when every moment of happiness we have experienced has come from this idea of a self. Upon reflection we see that every moment of interaction, every moment of self-identity, brings with it, a moment of hidden sorrow. We don't know anyone in our daily lives who is truly happy, only people who say they are with empty words. Alas, this is one part of the journey that requires a great leap of faith: abandon all that you are and all that you define yourself by.